Elliot: What about that one?
Me: I don’t know…doesn’t he look a bit geriatric?
E: Oh, you’re right, though. He has gout.
Marcus: And some of his spike are fall out.
E: He obviously has cataracts, too, and it looks like those teeth might be dentures.
M: And he is have belly-pot and miss arm. Maybe he is have dia-beets.
E: Diabetes?
M: That is what I am say!
Me: You guys, this is far too sad. We can’t bring Dino Drop back with the saddest of entries. I’m just thinking about how he lives alone in a tiny little apartment that violates all sorts of health and safety codes. And how he probably lost his arm in a war, and now people just look at him strangely because he only has one arm, but he just wants to be loved and respected again. His wife is dead.
E: First of all…holy shit. And second, you’re only on that track because you just watched that painful episode of Call the Midwife.
Me: Oh my god that episode…
E: No! Don’t think about it again! Rerouting, rerouting, happier thoughts, new plans for this dino.
M: Maybe is just disguise. Like, he is just look old, so he is lure enemy close. And then he is be like SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER. And then kill and eat.
Me: I actually like that scenario better. I’m not sure what that says about me.
E: It says you’ve been spending a great deal of time around Marc. Also, Marc, you’re not supposed to be swearing, remember?
M: SURPRISE MOTHERFLOWER.
E: Not even you can make that sound fearsome.
M: Yeaaaah, weeeell, flower you.
Me: How long are you going to make him keep saying that?
E: Until Mira stops thinking that it’s alright to drop the F-bomb in art class, I should think.
M: Uuuuuugh, she is never stop think that because is best. word. You are say like all of time!
E: Not in front of the kiddos, buddy boy.
M: Non. We are non buddy. I am kill and eat. I am wear old man costume and then you are come to check on, and I am turn you into pot roast.
E: That’s what you would turn me into?
M: Sic.
E: Huh.
M: What?
E: I don’t know, I guess I thought you would at least have the decency to turn me on a spit and dance around or something.
Me: What, have you thought about this? You’ve thought about how you would want Marc to cannibalize you? That is messed up.
E: Well, how would you prefer to be eaten?
Me: By an alligator.
E: See? You’ve thought about it.
Me: That’s totally different. I’m not planning for Marc to cannibalize me as though it’s some kind of eventuality. Man, we are way off track. What else about this dinosaur?
M: Weeeelll, I am like that his say RAWR. But should be all capital letter, I am think. I am non sure what “Rawr” is sound like. I guess is noise dinosaur is make when he is like…answer phone or settle on TV channel or maybe do good job parallel park. What? What is so funny?
E: You! Settle on a TV channel, hahaha.
M: Whatever! Whenever we are manage to agree on what to watch, you are always say something like “finally” or “quite” or “thank god.” Dinosaur would be like, *sigh* “…Rawr.”
E: No, it makes perfect sense. I just love that you generated that exact list of possibilities.
Me: I love the idea of dinosaurs doing normal everyday things.
E: You’ve always liked that–strange things doing everyday things.
Me: Absolutely. I really should spend more time in costume just wandering around going grocery shopping, mailing bills, and riding the L. Scratch that last one, you see costumed people on the L all the time. Maybe holding office hours in costume.
M: You are already do.
Me: Yeah, but it was Halloween. I mean like, for no reason. Oh hey, it’s May 18th, I think I’ll just wear this mask and hit up Trader Joes. That sounded wrong.
E: …yeah.
Me: I meant wear a costume mask and go to the store!
E: Yep.
Me: E! You know what I mean!
E: Indeed.
Me: Whatever, dickjerk. I do wonder, though, why is a dinosaur who only softly “Rawrs” a killer?
M: Is part of costume.
E: Or! Or it could be part of his psychopathy. He’s a soft-spoken sort of fellow, so you don’t even notice that he’s about to flip out and attack you.
Me: Ok, now who’s a creep?
E: Um, you are the only reason I know anything about psychopaths. I’m not the one writing a dissertation on mental institutions and desperately trying to find something to replace the Dexter-shaped void in my life.
Me: I had such high hopes for Hannibal, but it got formulaic so quickly…
E: My point exactly. Marc…Marc are you practising old man face?
M: Non?
E: Don’t make me into a pot roast.
* * *
If you’re tuning in for the first time, or you’ve forgotten where these drawings came from, check out the very first explanatory Dino Drop here.
Only you Erin…and that is said in the best possible way. Love the “Rawr” explanation !
: ) Rawr.