November was a little sparse up here on the blog. Twas a busy month (much like Camelot tis a silly place), but I did manage to have tea with some friends over the weeks and between commitments. One of those friends was Angela Tomasino, owner of SnugABull Dog Scarves and author of Life with Alfred.
Angela, as you can see from those links, loves dogs. She also loves basically every other animal on the planet. She loves them so much she got married at Brookfield Zoo. And now all her wedding guests have a story that opens with, “This one time I had a cocktail with a giraffe.”
Angela also loves animals that were once alive and stomping around, but are now extinct. So, when she came up to see my new apartment and stick around for some tea, she asked if she could help me with a Dino Drop.
So, here is the dinosaur that struck her fancy:
Angela: He kind of looks like a panther, but he has a weird face. He’s the grumpy cat of dinosaurs. But with a really wobbly leg.
Me: He’s a genetic mutant dinosaur. What does that say above him? T-Dex? T-Pex. T Dex. What does Dex stand for?
A: What does T stand for?
*we pause and ponder this*
A: Terrific-Dexterity dinosaur.
Me: I don’t understand how he can be dexterous with such a wobbly leg.
A: Maybe he’s good at Mozart concertos. You don’t know. His arms are nimble looking.
Me: His arms are twisted and messed up.
A: You can’t detect his dexterity with the human eye.
Me: His tail looks like a third leg, missing a foot.
A: It looks like Alfred’s tail when he’s about to throw up.
Me: Do you…anticipate his throwing up?
A: I just move him over onto the hard wood. He throws up every day at least once.
Me: That’s gross. Why does he throw up?
A: He’s probably just…he has something wrong with him. *long-suffering sigh*
(Check out Alfred’s incredible story above if you’re interested in his rescue–dog dude earned his nervousness.)
Me: This dinosaur is the most 2D of all the dinosaurs I’ve seen. Most of the other students at least took a stab at 3D dinosaurs.
A: That’s why he looks so wobbly! He’s the Flat Stanley of dinosaurs.
Me: I hate Flat Stanley.
A: When I taught in a music classroom, I had a tambourine. Tommy Tambourino. He didn’t go places, actually, I just poorly photoshopped him into images with things like the Eiffel Tower. He would send emails to the students. But THEN, Google ruined everything by using smart ads, which would give away all the answers, rather than letting students use my clues to figure out where he was.
Me: What did he look like?
A: I literally just drew a face on a broken tamourine.
Me: Does T-Dex have a broken tambourine?
A: Probably not.
Me: What does he have? What does a T-Dex own?
A: A monocle.
Me: For his one eye.
A: A blankie.
Me: I don’t understand him. he looks like a body of water. He looks like his legs are inlets into ports.
A: So maybe T-Dex is a nation with a lake shaped like a grumpy panther dinosaur.
Me: Then what does T-Dex stand for in regards to the nation? Terra-Dex, a sci-fi nation. It sounds like pterodactyls, so I guess that makes sense. I want to zoom in on his face.
A: He looks like grumpy cat. I can’t get over it. But if he’s a lake, then that must be a boat instead of an eye, and his grumpy mouth might be…
Me: A sand bar?
Me: His eye does look like a boat.
A: A canoe with something in the middle, paddling along.
Me: Someone sailing on Lake Grumpy Cat. His feet are all fucked up, in a big way. Other observations?
A: Am I now talking about a lake or a dinosaur?
Me: You can do either.
*mimosa break for me*
A: I want to put him in a feather boa.
A: I don’t know…it would make him less grumpy?
Me: I don’t think it would make him less wobbly.
A: I think he needs a cane, too. Duh. Of course he needs a cane. What were we thinking? *Angela takes a mimosa break…checks out some stuff on my bookshelves.* What is this?
Me: An Irish tin whistle. I used to play, but I feel like the sound of it, although beautiful to me, might be obnoxious to my neighbors.
A: You should take up bagpipes. They’re less obnoxious, I hear.
Me: I’m not sure I believe that. I feel like we’ve done well here, look at all the subjects we touched on.
A: We got a lot done.
Me: I’m feeling good about myself. I like how they gave him a waist line, like he’s wearing a girdle, or maybe a corset.
A: Or a cummerbund. A sequined one. That would go good with his boa.
Me: Maybe he’s an MC
A: He’s in a swing choir…or a swing choir reject, because he’s so wobbly.
Me: It would be hard to dance with this guy as your partner. Because first you’d be afraid you’d pull off his arm, and then he has no balance and only one eye.
A: That’s a lot going against him.
Me: He’s sad.
A: He’s grumpy!
Me: I’m going to find an image of grumpy cat…
…oh my god it looks just like him!!
A: He even has a pointed ear, see?
Me: He has the circle around his eye, and the downturned mouth. That is astonishing. I love it. Also, this is likely the only time I’ll ever talk about cats on this website. Well done.