It’s Wednesday! And I’m no longer in the midst of traveling and readjusting to city life, so…I have a dinosaur for y’all.
This time, my guest star is my little brother, Adam, who agreed to lend his own brand of twisted imagination to Dino Drop. Here’s his selected dino:
Me: You really won’t get out of that chair and come sit at the table?
Me: Do you remember what the dinosaur looks like, then?
A: Boxy, walking, brandishing, Sharkasaurus Rex. Yeah, think I’ve got it.
Me: Alright, so what about him. What’s his story?
A: I dunno, what direction does this usually go?
Me: Kind of like, how did he end up with a shark head and a dinosaur body. He looks like some kind of Picasso drawing.
A: I’d hardly call him Picasso, I mean, he doesn’t have faces for hands. I’d say he was the biggest, baddest ocean fighter, and a Sharknado threw him onto land. He mated with a T-Rex and became a Sharkasaurus Rex. He’s pointing out to sea to his long lost love. “Shane, what happened to my love! She’s still in the ocean and I’m stranded on land!”
Me: Who’s Shane? Why do you sound like Sean Connery all of a sudden?
Me: Like people always say, “Shaaaane!!” like the end of that movie?
A: No, like, he’s “shay-ing” it. He’s narrating his life. He’s shay-ing, “what happened to my love?”
Me: O…k…who’s his long lost love?
A: Sarah the triceratops. Or Nessie. The seamonster?
Me: Latter makes more sense than the former.
A: I was trying to think of dinosaurs with female names.
Me: So, Nessie? Nessie is the…are you nursing that bowl of popcorn?
A: It’s my baby. Tonight….*adopts the Connery, again*…we’ll shleep together under the shtars.
Me: …so…does he enjoy being a Sharkasaurus?
A: He probably wishes he could go fishing, but his arms are too short. And his feet are too short to paddle, so he can’t swim and catch fish.
Me: I want to know why he would go fishing. Didn’t he come from the sea? Cannibal much?
A: What the fuck else would he eat? Do whales not eat fish? Do dolphins not eat sharks?
Me: I don’t think dolphins eat sharks.
A: No, they just kill them. Dolphins packs mess. up. sharks. Schools? Schools of dolphins? Packs of dolphins? Gaggles of dolphins?
Me: Um…pretty sure it’s not gaggles.
A: What do you call a mess of dolphins?
Me: A pod?
A: I’ll go with that.
Me: So what else about this Sharkasaurus Rex? What else is a part of his life?
A: Probably be hard to get a job with arms like that. Big ass tail, though…he’s probably very stable.
Me: Maybe he holds up those signs for pizza sales.
A: You know, I was thinking that. He might have tried it, but I doubt he spun them well. Looks like he has a voracious appetite, too.
Me: Did he eat the pizzas?
A: He ate the people making them. Or is this a dinosaur world where people don’t exist?
Me: It’s whatever you want it to be.
A: Oh really? Then…*adopts storyteller tone*…he can be found under lighthouses, crying and playing sad music, waiting for his dead wife to return to him. He sees the tornado and secretly hopes for her to be thrown to land, because he’s the only one of his kind.
A: I can imagine that would be a pretty lonely life. Being the only Sharkasaurus Rex in the world.
Me: Congrats on making the saddest dino drop ever.
Me: Really? That’s your final note? That’s what you want to end on?